AppleGlacier
Retired Staff
As Viperstrike and XV_Scorpion_VX did I decided to share my story. Mine is different from what they went through but I know many people have or are dealing with this.
So my story begins when I was young and didn’t know the consequences of my actions. It started through some bad influence by my neighbors. It was pornography. At the time, I didn’t know how it would affect me. Over time it took control of me. I would sometimes get up at 4:00AM in the morning and look at it. This would continue for a long time and I hated every part of it. I was so embarrassed so I didn’t tell anyone. So every day was a constant fight against my will and what I felt like doing. This happened for 4 years, every day. I hated it. No one knew, not even my parents. I hid it from everyone. Little did I know how strong of a grip it actually had on me. From the talks that you have in school I learned that the change that happens in your brain is the same as what happens when you take drugs. And it’s just as strong. Then on July 1st of this year, Canada day. I was helping out my church hosting an event all day. That day the chain broke off of me. I kept myself busy so I couldn’t do it. Then the next week I said “I have gone one week without doing it. I can go another week.” And that attitude finally freed me. My internal struggle with that was over but this isn’t where the story ends. The month of July was good and I had few downs. I met Emily (QuartzyGlacier ) at the time we weren’t that close and didn’t know too much about each other. I helped her here and there with some of her own struggles. She then asked if I could talk to one of her friends with one of his problems. I accepted and started talking to him. He was struggling with pornography as well. So I gave him what I could and we became pretty good friends. But, due to some of his own things with his parents, he could no longer really keep in contact. Then in August things started going down hill again. I started getting extremely sad and felt like I was drowning. I had no idea what was happening to me and why. I was still trying to help people at the time. I then knew I couldn’t continue helping people while I was like this. So I drew back and told all of my friends I was extremely sorry but I couldn’t keep checking up on them and that I needed to regain my energy. That message was sent to Emily as well. That’s when we started becoming really close to one another. I told her my story and what I was going through. She talked to me and helped me, we played and Skyped together. With the fact that I drew back and that Emily has so much energy and joy I started regaining my own energy. This was at the time I felt the most down. We then became as you all know, best friends. (Yes, we do love one another. Although, we have decided to not date, at least for now.) I honestly could never ask for a better friend. (Much of this was part of the reason I resigned from staff.) I kept talking to Emily and we told each other more and more and now we refer to each other as a 4th part of our brains. After I regained my energy I decided to apply for staff again. Then I started getting to know people again. Now I have some of the best friends I could ever ask for. I know there is so many people I could trust, QuartzyGlacier, MissDark, _Smokescreen_, MusicWarrior_XY, BreeziEmoji, Trenly, Shadow_Squadron and many many others. So thank you all for being awesome friends and for giving me your advice.
So know that there is always people out there who love you and want to help you. If you seek then you will find.
So my story begins when I was young and didn’t know the consequences of my actions. It started through some bad influence by my neighbors. It was pornography. At the time, I didn’t know how it would affect me. Over time it took control of me. I would sometimes get up at 4:00AM in the morning and look at it. This would continue for a long time and I hated every part of it. I was so embarrassed so I didn’t tell anyone. So every day was a constant fight against my will and what I felt like doing. This happened for 4 years, every day. I hated it. No one knew, not even my parents. I hid it from everyone. Little did I know how strong of a grip it actually had on me. From the talks that you have in school I learned that the change that happens in your brain is the same as what happens when you take drugs. And it’s just as strong. Then on July 1st of this year, Canada day. I was helping out my church hosting an event all day. That day the chain broke off of me. I kept myself busy so I couldn’t do it. Then the next week I said “I have gone one week without doing it. I can go another week.” And that attitude finally freed me. My internal struggle with that was over but this isn’t where the story ends. The month of July was good and I had few downs. I met Emily (QuartzyGlacier ) at the time we weren’t that close and didn’t know too much about each other. I helped her here and there with some of her own struggles. She then asked if I could talk to one of her friends with one of his problems. I accepted and started talking to him. He was struggling with pornography as well. So I gave him what I could and we became pretty good friends. But, due to some of his own things with his parents, he could no longer really keep in contact. Then in August things started going down hill again. I started getting extremely sad and felt like I was drowning. I had no idea what was happening to me and why. I was still trying to help people at the time. I then knew I couldn’t continue helping people while I was like this. So I drew back and told all of my friends I was extremely sorry but I couldn’t keep checking up on them and that I needed to regain my energy. That message was sent to Emily as well. That’s when we started becoming really close to one another. I told her my story and what I was going through. She talked to me and helped me, we played and Skyped together. With the fact that I drew back and that Emily has so much energy and joy I started regaining my own energy. This was at the time I felt the most down. We then became as you all know, best friends. (Yes, we do love one another. Although, we have decided to not date, at least for now.) I honestly could never ask for a better friend. (Much of this was part of the reason I resigned from staff.) I kept talking to Emily and we told each other more and more and now we refer to each other as a 4th part of our brains. After I regained my energy I decided to apply for staff again. Then I started getting to know people again. Now I have some of the best friends I could ever ask for. I know there is so many people I could trust, QuartzyGlacier, MissDark, _Smokescreen_, MusicWarrior_XY, BreeziEmoji, Trenly, Shadow_Squadron and many many others. So thank you all for being awesome friends and for giving me your advice.
So know that there is always people out there who love you and want to help you. If you seek then you will find.
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