Viperstrike
Trusted Member
Well after reading XV_Scorpion_VX post about his drug story. I decided to tell mine,
I have not told any one this and no one knows except one of my very good friends.
About a year ago one of my cousins died and we were very close. He had migraines every day for 2 years and the day after my birth day he killed him self. This impacted me in a very big way so to the fact that he was the only cousin that was close to my age (at the time he was 15 and I was 12) and we had a lot in common, I'm a only child and he was like a older brother to me, I can remember going to see him at his school and bring him home after his games. And we would hang out a lot. Mostly 5 times a week. The way I found out he died was my waking up to some one banging on the door. It was one of my uncles. We drove to my aunts house and all I can remember was seeing my family and friends crying. I still did not know what happed and then. My mom grabbed me and took me into a room alone and told me. After I found out I did not talk, eat, sleep, for days. I got very sick and had to be forced to eat. I started to take sleeping pills all the time and that led to me being very mad and angry all the time. About A week later we went to the funeral. There was a slide show with a bunch of memory's of me and him and every one in are family. And at the slide show they played a song that I still love and listen to every day.
(Can't hold us). At the end there was time for ppl to say stuff about him I was to scared to go up there and say some thing. (I regret if for every second of my life). After the funeral I went to his grave for every day for 2 weeks strait. (I still do once a week). And once I started to take even more pills and missed a lot of school. And my grades started to get bad. And then worse. And then more pills. I started to drink a little to. And that led to my getting up at 2:00 am and drink hafe a beer. And one day i was so depressed and I was not well that night I drank more that usual and I just listened to the song. And then I started to blame my self for his death. And then I decided that I wanted to kill myself. I kept thinking that no one loved me and that I was better dead. So I went in to the cabinet and took random pills and hoped that I would not wake up that night.
That morning my parents where at work and I told them I did not feel good and I could not go to school. I puked a ton that day. I still thought I was better off dead than alive.
So I got a nife and was about to kill my self but right befor my girl friend texted me and said, "I love you hope you feel better tomarrow". That stoped me from killing my self.
After that we broke up and now were great friends. She is the only one that knows what happed. And that she stopped me from killing my self.
I started to get my self together and work hard to help my self. I have never told any one besides my ex. Bc I'm afraid of what the other ppl would say and think about me.
Yesterday marks the 9 months ago I tried to kill my self. I visited my cousins grave today and played Can't hold us there.
The reason for this post is to tell ppl that there is some on that loves you. Don't ever think that every one hates you and no one loves you. That is not true, there is always some one that loves you. And that cares about you. Please I encourage you tell some one and don't make my mistake. Don't take drugs and try to kill your self.
Viper.
I have not told any one this and no one knows except one of my very good friends.
About a year ago one of my cousins died and we were very close. He had migraines every day for 2 years and the day after my birth day he killed him self. This impacted me in a very big way so to the fact that he was the only cousin that was close to my age (at the time he was 15 and I was 12) and we had a lot in common, I'm a only child and he was like a older brother to me, I can remember going to see him at his school and bring him home after his games. And we would hang out a lot. Mostly 5 times a week. The way I found out he died was my waking up to some one banging on the door. It was one of my uncles. We drove to my aunts house and all I can remember was seeing my family and friends crying. I still did not know what happed and then. My mom grabbed me and took me into a room alone and told me. After I found out I did not talk, eat, sleep, for days. I got very sick and had to be forced to eat. I started to take sleeping pills all the time and that led to me being very mad and angry all the time. About A week later we went to the funeral. There was a slide show with a bunch of memory's of me and him and every one in are family. And at the slide show they played a song that I still love and listen to every day.
(Can't hold us). At the end there was time for ppl to say stuff about him I was to scared to go up there and say some thing. (I regret if for every second of my life). After the funeral I went to his grave for every day for 2 weeks strait. (I still do once a week). And once I started to take even more pills and missed a lot of school. And my grades started to get bad. And then worse. And then more pills. I started to drink a little to. And that led to my getting up at 2:00 am and drink hafe a beer. And one day i was so depressed and I was not well that night I drank more that usual and I just listened to the song. And then I started to blame my self for his death. And then I decided that I wanted to kill myself. I kept thinking that no one loved me and that I was better dead. So I went in to the cabinet and took random pills and hoped that I would not wake up that night.
That morning my parents where at work and I told them I did not feel good and I could not go to school. I puked a ton that day. I still thought I was better off dead than alive.
So I got a nife and was about to kill my self but right befor my girl friend texted me and said, "I love you hope you feel better tomarrow". That stoped me from killing my self.
After that we broke up and now were great friends. She is the only one that knows what happed. And that she stopped me from killing my self.
I started to get my self together and work hard to help my self. I have never told any one besides my ex. Bc I'm afraid of what the other ppl would say and think about me.
Yesterday marks the 9 months ago I tried to kill my self. I visited my cousins grave today and played Can't hold us there.
The reason for this post is to tell ppl that there is some on that loves you. Don't ever think that every one hates you and no one loves you. That is not true, there is always some one that loves you. And that cares about you. Please I encourage you tell some one and don't make my mistake. Don't take drugs and try to kill your self.
Viper.
