XV_Scorpion_VX
Retired Staff
Alright, first off I just want to say that this is random, yes. Also no, this isn't attention seeking or any kind of concept of anything but a message, I've been meaning to do this for a while and have told a few people about it, but I think it would help some people in depression, just as a warning NOT to do drugs, it's not a way out.
Believe it if you want to or not, but I have had a big experience of them, and it wasn't good. It's based all around this story. A couple of years ago when I was 13 and turning 14 my friend who was a lot older than me and almost like an uncle killed himself, his girlfriend found him hanging dead in a garage. When I found out I kinda completely flipped and was so angry at first that he'd left his gf and son to be haunted, but after this rage had ended after a few days I just always felt pain, couldn't concentrate with anything, so I took up drugs to ease my pain, mainly weed, but I did cocaine and took mushrooms as well as it sometimes, I also may have done other things as afterwards I've found a few things change in me, my appearance is slightly different, but anyway. I was messed up all the time but felt I was better numb than in pain with this loss, and in honesty I wasn't thinking at all after a while, my brain was fried. I would often skip school and hang with groups of lowlifes who didn't have nothing else to do than cause trouble and do what I was doing, I even got caught in a gang fight once, luckily I wasn't hurt from it and came out alive. Eventually though my parents who I hadn't told about my loss and didn't know the guy or had any idea I was doing drugs found out, and when I heard they did in my house I literally jumped out my window and ran to where I kept everything and through panic I smoked and took everything I'd got, I wasn't thinking straight at that part in my life so I didn't think about overdosing on it or just throwing it away as I spent so much money on it, but then passed out in my park in which my dad found me nearly dead later and took me to hospital. A couple of hours later I woke up with tubes going in me and I immediately started to panic as I regained my senses, I was afraid I was going to get in huge trouble for it, but a psychiatrist calmed me and started talking to me telling me I didn't have to worry, so I told her what happened, and well pretty much everything, in which she would tell my parents later that day and thankfully they understood and said not to speak of it again. It's literally haunted me from any sort of drug that wasn't medical. But the nightmares where the worst, I kept dreaming until recently every month or so but for the first few months almost every night and it slowly started to wear off after that that I would walk into my friends garage and see him hanging all bloody and cut, I never saw him myself but the vision would kind of always show him and then me fainting after, into which I would wake up all sweaty, often screaming, and it only stopped a few months ago.
Now, that may be a worse case scenario, I turned completely insane. But I urge you if you're suffering with anything whether it be a loss, or a condition that changes your life, or anything, DO NOT turn to drugs, people say they open your mind and make you feel better, but for me they only made me feel worse, not saying they will for you, but be safe, don't go to drugs, go to a friend. I had to shake this depression off myself and get back to my life, it took me a long time to do so and I often thought of going back but managed to stop myself. But after another tragedy I had, this case with finding out my ex girlfriend who many of you know about cheating on me, I nearly did the same again, luckily however I had taken the advice of my psychiatrist and went to find a friend. Sadly it wasn't so easy, I asked many friends but they couldn't fully understand how upset I was and simply thought it was a case of dealing with a breakup, but as the side affects of what I did made me feel more emotional than before, I simply couldn't just get over it, especially as the one I thought was my soulmate and the one I could always trust betrayed me, I literally had no ledge to cling onto. I had to reach out to someone else, and I did, who is now one of my best friends and the one I know I can always trust with anything, Ida. Now you may say things like "OMMGGG I SHIP" and things like that, but this is the reason why we are very close. I told her about what was happening and how I felt, and she listened and gave me advice, and generally just got me back on my feet again, and even better than that, grew to a strong friendship that I know that if we need eacthother, we have eacthother and will always be able to trust eacthother with anything. It also made me realise that friends are a much better and stronger pain re-leaver than drugs ever could be, because I was going down that road and almost got caught again, but a friend who could understand was the real answer. So to anyone who is suffering, and doesn't know what to do, once again, Drugs ARE NOT the answer, I found out the hard way. Reach out to a friend, and if you don't have anyone to reach out to, you can ask me, I know this horror first hand, so I'll understand what you mean. Peace.
Believe it if you want to or not, but I have had a big experience of them, and it wasn't good. It's based all around this story. A couple of years ago when I was 13 and turning 14 my friend who was a lot older than me and almost like an uncle killed himself, his girlfriend found him hanging dead in a garage. When I found out I kinda completely flipped and was so angry at first that he'd left his gf and son to be haunted, but after this rage had ended after a few days I just always felt pain, couldn't concentrate with anything, so I took up drugs to ease my pain, mainly weed, but I did cocaine and took mushrooms as well as it sometimes, I also may have done other things as afterwards I've found a few things change in me, my appearance is slightly different, but anyway. I was messed up all the time but felt I was better numb than in pain with this loss, and in honesty I wasn't thinking at all after a while, my brain was fried. I would often skip school and hang with groups of lowlifes who didn't have nothing else to do than cause trouble and do what I was doing, I even got caught in a gang fight once, luckily I wasn't hurt from it and came out alive. Eventually though my parents who I hadn't told about my loss and didn't know the guy or had any idea I was doing drugs found out, and when I heard they did in my house I literally jumped out my window and ran to where I kept everything and through panic I smoked and took everything I'd got, I wasn't thinking straight at that part in my life so I didn't think about overdosing on it or just throwing it away as I spent so much money on it, but then passed out in my park in which my dad found me nearly dead later and took me to hospital. A couple of hours later I woke up with tubes going in me and I immediately started to panic as I regained my senses, I was afraid I was going to get in huge trouble for it, but a psychiatrist calmed me and started talking to me telling me I didn't have to worry, so I told her what happened, and well pretty much everything, in which she would tell my parents later that day and thankfully they understood and said not to speak of it again. It's literally haunted me from any sort of drug that wasn't medical. But the nightmares where the worst, I kept dreaming until recently every month or so but for the first few months almost every night and it slowly started to wear off after that that I would walk into my friends garage and see him hanging all bloody and cut, I never saw him myself but the vision would kind of always show him and then me fainting after, into which I would wake up all sweaty, often screaming, and it only stopped a few months ago.
Now, that may be a worse case scenario, I turned completely insane. But I urge you if you're suffering with anything whether it be a loss, or a condition that changes your life, or anything, DO NOT turn to drugs, people say they open your mind and make you feel better, but for me they only made me feel worse, not saying they will for you, but be safe, don't go to drugs, go to a friend. I had to shake this depression off myself and get back to my life, it took me a long time to do so and I often thought of going back but managed to stop myself. But after another tragedy I had, this case with finding out my ex girlfriend who many of you know about cheating on me, I nearly did the same again, luckily however I had taken the advice of my psychiatrist and went to find a friend. Sadly it wasn't so easy, I asked many friends but they couldn't fully understand how upset I was and simply thought it was a case of dealing with a breakup, but as the side affects of what I did made me feel more emotional than before, I simply couldn't just get over it, especially as the one I thought was my soulmate and the one I could always trust betrayed me, I literally had no ledge to cling onto. I had to reach out to someone else, and I did, who is now one of my best friends and the one I know I can always trust with anything, Ida. Now you may say things like "OMMGGG I SHIP" and things like that, but this is the reason why we are very close. I told her about what was happening and how I felt, and she listened and gave me advice, and generally just got me back on my feet again, and even better than that, grew to a strong friendship that I know that if we need eacthother, we have eacthother and will always be able to trust eacthother with anything. It also made me realise that friends are a much better and stronger pain re-leaver than drugs ever could be, because I was going down that road and almost got caught again, but a friend who could understand was the real answer. So to anyone who is suffering, and doesn't know what to do, once again, Drugs ARE NOT the answer, I found out the hard way. Reach out to a friend, and if you don't have anyone to reach out to, you can ask me, I know this horror first hand, so I'll understand what you mean. Peace.
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